No kind of Man... by the way Happy Father's Day!

I don't know when
I came to realize 
He was just no kind of a man,
I mean sure he was an adult,
who put his pants on
one leg at a time,
He was a male,
who had reached his prime,
but no kind of a man,
not quite a man,

Still just a boy,
when she met him,

Just pulling a ploy,

To get her,
not really sure.
if he knew what it meant,
to endure,
the early loss of a parent,
but endure he did
it was apparent,
He compensated for his loss
by playing, teasing, tickling, BAILING,
no discipline,
no yelling,
He was no kind of a man,
He made sure the bills 
were paid on time
and brought the money home,
momma said, 
we just got used to,
the back of his head,
she would 
innuendo that 
he was even good
in bed
but his eyes would roam,
hint...hint...
where did the man begin?
from the lost of prime,
and the boy end?
the broken home?
the lost of time?
not being apparent,
to your own,
but to someone else's
kid's you shone,
could it be you thought of me
just four years old
ancient history
already,
eyes whose beam,
fought back the night,
eyes too young,
to know your plight,
eyes already wise,
beyond my years,
eyes that had already 
seen too much of 
your fears,
did you think that
leaving me would replace,
the expectation in my face?
with implication?
Even now you're seldom seen,
The next generation,
Did you plot? 
Did you figure?
Did you plan?
That ev'ry male I'd meet
would be a reflection of you,
and no kind of a man?
that look in my eye,
is not one of need
of any earthly thing,
it's not one of greed,
it's not one of hunger,
or of want, but sadly
it's for the essence,
of a love, needed badly,
of a gift I never got from you,
your very presence,
daddy!

Victori ©